"The world is not a wish granting factory"

Almost everyone has read fairytale stories where the girl gets the guy and they ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.  However, in reality, that  doesn't always happen.  The novel The Fault in Our Stars by John Green told of the bittersweet story of Hazel Grace and her life as a "side effect" of cancer.  Not to be a spoiler, but the ending was not completely happy.  And this just makes me love the book more, because I can connect with it better.  Hazel and her boyfriend Gus often say, "The world is not a wish granting factory."  This is proven in the book, causing a vivid reality for readers.

One way the world wasn't a wish granting factory for Hazel was when she went to meet Peter Van Houten.  In the book, Van Houten was her all time favorite author of the book An Imperial Affliction which also told of a girl with cancer.  This book, as well as The Fault in Our Stars was realistic because it ended in mid-sentence, possibly showing the reality of how death can arrive.  Because of this, Hazel's  need to know what happened, caused her to arrange to meet him in Amsterdam so he could answer her questions.  However, when she arrives, she uncovers that Van Houten is a pudgy, grumpy, rude and drunken man who refuses to speak of the book.  Overall, this shows the reality that some things you get your hopes up for, end up a disappointment.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!
Another way this book shows the reality of life is when Gus dies of cancer.  In the middle of the book, Hazel and Gus had finally got together and I was so happy for them.  But often, happiness does not last.  Unfortunately, Gus showed results of a cancer relapse.  It was heartbreaking to read about how Hazel took care of him everyday and how their love for each other remained strong throughout the rest of his life.  Overall, this too shows the reality of how life is not always a fairytale.

In conclusion, events in the book prove Gus and Hazel's saying that, "Life is not always a wish granting factory."  At some points, I wanted to throw the book across the room and yell, "How could the author do that to Hazel?"  But it also made me love the book for unleashing reality.  Of course, I'm not saying that everything eventually ends terribly, but not everything is a fairytale either.  The harsh reality of this book mixed in with the humor, love, and genius sayings really make it fantastic.

Hope can Lead to Possibilities

Many people and books and movies and t.v shows talk about the benefits of hope.  Others speak of their futures and possibilities.  For me, I have always put the to into the same category.  I've always felt that there aren't any possibilities unless you have hope in them.  As I read The Oxford Book of American Verse, put together by F.O Mattheissen, two poems by Emily Dickinson spoke of both subjects.  Her poems "I dwell in Possibility," and "Hope is the thing with feathers," allow me to express my opinions of hope and possibility using metaphors.

In the poem, "I dwell in Possibility," Dickinson says that it is "More numerous of windows,/Superior of  doors."  This makes me think about the saying, "when one door closes, another one opens."  This poem and the quote refer to possibilities of walking through a door or window into a place to rebuild and become successful.  However, neither mention how you get through the doors.  In the poem "Hope is the thing with feathers," Dickinson refers to hope as being a bird, "that perches in the soul."  And in my opinion, I believe this bird is the key through escaping the house mentioned in "I dwell in Possibility."  Birds use their wings to fly away, and I think these wings can be a metaphor for escaping through those doors or windows into possibilities.  In conclusion, by using doors and wings, Emily Dickinson has complied with my personal opinion that you can't have possibilities without hope.

Religion

As I continue to read The Life of Pi, by Yann Martel, many issues of religion are brought up.  This is mainly because Pi loves God so much that he wants to be Hindu, Muslim and Christian.  This predicament puts many people of his life in confusion.  Most of them don't understand and tell him he has to pick one.  They say it's impossible to be all three.  However, Pi is puzzled by these remarks and this too makes me think about the purpose of religion, and my view on this.

When the imam, the priest, and the pandit told Pi to choose a religion, Pi replied, "Bapu Ghandi said 'All religions are true .'  I just want to love God."  And for this, I feel that Pi should be allowed to practice all religions.  In every religion, I don't think it's a crime to want to love God.  This also brings up the matter of why we persecute other religions.  Throughout history, people have thought their religion was better.  When England was still the US's mother country, they persecuted anyone but those of the Anglican religion.  During World War II, Jews were severely hurt.  However, if all religions aim to praise a or some type of God, wouldn't it be sinful to try to keep others from it?  Or punish them?  For this reason, I think that in morals, Pi and anyone else should have freedom of religion or religions.

The Value of Life

In my life, I have often been told that life is a gift.  It is something you shouldn't waste, but a thing to make the best of.  I have been told that all life has value, from the smallest to the largest of animals.  However, something I always wondered was how we determined the value of life.  Often, humans think that our lives are more important or more worth saving than those of other animals.  This is shown in the book, Life of Pi by Yann Martel.  This book has caused me to look deeper into the value of life and helped me understand society a little better.

In the book, Pi's father takes Pi and his brother to the tiger's cage to teach them a lesson.  He makes them watch Mahisha the tiger tear apart a defenseless goat in order to show a his sons how dangerous tigers and other animals can be and teach them not to try and go near dangerous animals.  Later, Pi's father tells his wife, "Gita, my bird, it's for their own sake.  What if Piscine had stuck his hand through the bars of the cage one day to touch the pretty orange fur?  Better a goat than him, no?"  This line stood prominent to me because he is implying that his son's life is more valuable than a goat.  And for this, I agree and disagree.  I agree that it would be more heart-wrenching for Pi to die than for a goat. So many care about him and he affects so many lives, while the goat may not.  However, who are we to say that the goat's life is inferior?  If life is a gift to all, then shouldn't we treat it equally for all?

Overall, this makes me think that we judge the value of an organism's life not by cherishing the gift, but by determining the impact the plant or animals has on our own lives.  The connection or love for something may be the difference between saving or diminishing it.  For example, would you choose to save the pretty purple flower or the ugly thorny one?  And for humans, would you choose the hated murderer or the kind earth-loving child?  In conclusion, I think that many weigh the lives of creatures based on our personal connection or feeling towards them.  This is why Pi's father would obviously choose him over a goat.

Jealousy

In the book, Stranger With My Face by Lois Duncan twins Laurie and Lia were separated when Laurie was adopted.  While Laurie ended up with a loving family in a big house, Lia's childhood was tough and she ended up in a mental institution.  When Lia visits Laurie through astral projection, she tries to take over Laurie's body and life, harming many in the process.  This makes me think that that the author is really trying to portray the dangers of jealousy.

I think this because of what Lia did to try and lead Laurie's life.  For example, she was willing to let Laurie die off in order to have her life.  When Laurie's boyfriend started to notice that she was acting differently, Lia tried to use Laurie's body to lure him to a dock so she could drown him.  Overall, Lia was so jealous of Laurie's easy life that she was going to hurt others deeply to get that life instead of changing herself to be a better person and making her own life better.  This also makes me wonder about why some people are blessed with an easier life than others.  Why are some born rich and others born into starvation for example?  Is it fate?  Or can our actions really change our entire lives?  Maybe if Lia had chosen a less cruel path, she wouldn't end up as she does in the end. (I don't want to give away spoilers.)   Or maybe, she was destined to that end.

Disease

As I continue to read, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, I have realized that having a disease does not only physically affect the actions you take, but can mentally guide you to how you act towards others.  Now I'm not talking about how some diseases can turn you crazy, but more in how it can cause the victim to take into consideration the lives of those affected by their disease.  I have noticed this, because the main character Hazel has followed many routes she might not have wanted to do, to help others feel more comfortable with her cancer.

For example, she agreed to go to meetings with our cancer victims so that her mother wouldn't worry that she was depressed even though she would have rather read.  Another example is that Hazel refused to date Augustus Waters because she didn't want to let him down.  This is because his previous girlfriend looked very similar to Hazel herself, and had sadly passed away.  Because Hazel knows her disease will eventually cause a premature death sooner or later, she didn't want to put Gus through another dead girlfriend.  This personally made me sad because I think Hazel really likes Gus.  Overall, this book has given me new insight on how a disease such as cancer can not only affect them physically, but also affect life choices they make.

Controlling

In the book, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, the main character Hazel is a victim of lung cancer.    It's almost certain that she won't live a long life, and she generally prefers to sleep, read and be by herself.  She says that it's a "side effect" of cancer.  When her friend Gus asked her what her hobbies were, she couldn't think of anything.  He then went on saying how he dislikes those who become their disease and let it stop them.  Overall, this makes me think about the unwillingness for some people to push past things that stand in their way.

For Hazel, her cancer has made her resort to just wanting to be alone in her room.  And even when she hung out with her friend, she told her she had to go home early when in reality, she just wanted to be alone.  She feels it awkward to try to make other people understand what it's like for her to have this disease, and has seemed to just shrug her shoulders instead of making the best of it.  This is one way she has "become her disease."  Another example I can think of in real life is when it seems that there is no hope, so people just give up instead of trying to fight.  For example, when others tell people that they can't do something, many agree and just give up.  However, I think that you shouldn't listen to others and always follow your dreams if you work hard.  In conclusion, I think that one thing shouldn't end up controlling how you live your life.

Use Your Voice

As I continue to read The Diary of Anne Frank, I have realized she talks about her personality a lot.  While she likes to say what's on her mind, and stand up for what she believes in, the rest of the hidden people in the Annex look down upon her for that.  They say, "Why can't you be quieter and not talk back like Peter and your sister?"  However, Anne looks down upon people like her sister because she thinks them cowardly for not standing up for what they believe in.  Overall, I agree with Anne.

I agree with Anne because I think people who never talk back or push for things they really want will be tossed about in society.  If they don't speak up, they can get taken advantage of and end up being unhappy.  For example, Margot is quiet but then in the end she does whatever others tell her to do.  Though Anne doesn't describe Margot's feelings, I can only imagine that Margot often does not want to do these things or agree with others.  Thus, many unhappy feelings may be bottled up inside of her.  Anne later mentioned how everyone is depressed, and Margot complains about headaches.  Maybe this is the affect of not expressing her true feelings.

Another example in everyday life is when others make a mistake about what each individual is supposed to do.  For example, they might think they volunteered to do something, when they didn't.  A lot of times when this happens, I notice that the person has a confused look on their face but then slugs off to do the task without informing the person who made the mistake.  They often end up doing something they don't want to do.  Sometimes it annoys me that they didn't just speak up and tell the person that they made a mistake.

In conclusion, I think that standing up for yourself is a really powerful tool in life.  Though I'm not saying you should talk back to everyone who disagrees with you, I think we shouldn't always back down and let others command our lives.  I think being a little agressive or a "go getter" can really help you lead your life.

War, Violence and History

In the previous book I read, Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, much of the second half was about how the war and the Taliban had changed the city of Amir's childhood: Kabul.  It had also torn apart his nephew, whose parents were shot.  His nephew Sohab had said to Amir, "I want my old life back."  And Amir said he couldn't give it to him.  And now, as I read the Diary of Anne Frank, I see the reality of Amir's answer.  This is because as both books deal with war, I have noticed a theme.  It is that peace can never be completely restored after war.

I think this because in both books, war tears families and happy lives apart.  In the Kite Runner, Sohab's parents will never be given back to him.  The horrible executions he witnessed and the sexual harassment he faced will never go away.  Because of these events that war and violence created, Sohab had even tried to commit suicide and afterwards, became mute.  In the book, he was just ten years old.
For Anne Frank, she war forced her to live in fear for months and months, hiding in a cramped annex.  Later, most of her family and friends were killed in concentration camps.  Though it is joyful when wars finally come to an end, there is still so much suffering that the lives of people can never truly be restored.  War has so many effects on individuals and nations as a whole.  However, though these horrible events can never be erased, it makes me think of the importance of history.  It helps us learn through our mistakes what we should and shouldn't do.  I believe that one of the things that history has taught us is that we shouldn't spark war.

Hassan's Form of Revenge

As I continue to read Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini, the actions of Hassan troubled me.  His "best friend" Amir had betrayed him in numerous ways, and yet Hassan refused to turn him in.  And in the end, Amir felt worse about his actions.  This is because he felt Hassan was so much better than him.  Because if this, Hassan's acts of loyalty to his traitorous friend make me think about the importance of being a good person.

In the book, Amir had run away from Hassan being sexually harassed rather than stick up for him.  All Amir wanted was for Hassan hurt so they'd go back to being friends.  Amir threw fruit at Hassan and begged Hassan to throw one at him, but Hassan refused out of being a loyal friend.  This made Amir feel worse.  Amir then framed Hassan for stealing his birthday presents.  After Hassan told his father what happened, he begged him not to turn Amir in out of being a "good samaritan." In turn, this was his revenge.  Amir realized he loved Hassan "more than anything," and realized how he let such a valuable person slip through his life.  Because Hassan stayed on the side of loyalty and friendship, he proved to be a much stronger and better person than Amir.  While Amir ran and willingly hurt his friend, Hassan stood up for him.  He was actually able to take revenge on Amir unwillingly by showing his good side.  In conclusion, I think this book gives a great example of how you should always try to be the best person you can be.  In the end, it might turn out best for you in some way.

Parental Figures

Amir is an Afghanistani boy from the book, Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.  Throughout his teen years he is faced with war, bullies, school and more.  But one thing that really caught my attention in the book is the relationship between him and his dad who he calls Baba.  This is because even though Amir longs for the fatherly figure his friend Hassan has, he is also extremely proud of Baba and is often jealous of the attention he gives to others.  This makes think that Amir craves his father's love and often denies the absence of it.

For example, in the book Amir thought that, "In some ways all father's want to kill their sons."  This is based off of Amir's personal experience because Baba was disappointed by him because he killed his mother during birth.  And also, when Baba realized Amir was not athletic as he was when he was a young boy, Amir overheard him saying, "If I hadn't seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I'd never believe he was my own son."  Another way Baba didn't provide a strong parental figure was after Amir had written his first novel and Baba just stared blankly at him and said, "That's good."  It was his friend Rahim that actually wanted to read the story.  Overall, it has come to my attention that Baba is not always the best parent.

Amir also becomes jealous at the attention Baba gives to others.  For example, he said that sometimes he wished Baba hadn't opened the orphanage because those kids got more of Baba's attention than him.    Also, when Baba put his arm around Amir and gave him expensive presents Amir said to himself that he didn't care, which implied that he actually did.

However, despite these things, Amir strongly admire his father and cherishes every nice action given to him.  For example, when Baba told him to hold his hat while he gave his speech at the orphanage he was opening, Amir was thrilled because everyone would know that Baba was his father.  Also, when he got to sit on Baba's lap, Amir scolded himself for annoying Baba by asking questions because he ruined the rare occasion that they were alone and talking.

In conclusion, I believe that Baba does not always offer Amir the love and care he craves.  However, despite this, Amir strongly admires his father and become jealous when others are given the attention he lacks.  This makes me think about how important parental care can be to a child.  Without it, it can lead to the kid thinking that all fathers wanted to kill their sons in some way, as Amir did.  I think the book paints an accurate picture about how many crave and cherish things that they may lack.  I think that these kinds of things occur in other scenarios such as the want of friendship, etc.  But overall, I think that Amir secretly desires Baba's approval though it is not always given.

A Lot of Care But Little Action

     As I continue to read Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, the main character Montag has decided to take action against the other firemen.  This is because he realized that maybe books are important to society, and shouldn't be burned.  Currently, he has made a plan with an old man to burn the houses of firemen. The book describes this old man as someone who has always wanted to keep books around, but was too afraid to take any action to preserving them.  This makes me think about how many people will have strong views on something, but never take action.

     In the book, the old man Faber had created a device he was able to pay for playing the stock markets after his university closed.  The device allowed him to implant one piece in one ear and the other, anywhere he chose.  That way, he could "hear and analyze the firemen's world, find its weaknesses, without danger."  According to Faber, it was just, "Proof of (his) terrible cowardice." Although he made this device long ago, he never put it to much use in trying to rebel against the burning of all books.  And now, though he is old and Montag is willing to help destroy the burning system, he is still afraid.  This angers me because he hasn't much to lose, but only something the world should hear and can probably gain from.  I personally think that if you believe in something, you should put it to action, or else you are no better than those who are against it.  This reminds me of people who are insanely mad at the outcome of elections, but didn't even vote. I want to ask, Why sit wondering "what if," when you could be rejoicing over a victory for your cause?  I believe the answer to this is because many are afraid of the views of society.  They may not want to be known as the crazy person.  However, I just want to get it out there that many people thought people like Albert Einstein were crazy, but they went on to changing the world in a huge way.  In conclusion, I want this post to be a call to action for those who have strong beliefs.  I think we should all stand up for what we believe in.

Just Fun, No Rules

451 degrees fahrenheit is the temperature at which paper burns.  In the book I am reading, Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, the main character Montag is a fireman.  However, in his life, firemen are people who start fires and burn all books so that nobody gets crazy ideas besides basic facts such as names of states.  Also in his world, there are basically no rules.  Kids can go around killing each other, and are encouraged to go to the amusement park 24/7.   However, although many people in the book don't realize it, this form of chaos and fun doesn't actually make them truly happy.  This makes me think about the difference between having fun and being happy.

In the book, although Montag said he was happy at first, a 17 year old girl helped him realize otherwise.  For example, because of the no rules and ample amount of fun to have, people in Montag's life never get to know each other.  Barely anyone ever talks to one another. Montag realizes this when his own wife had a near death experience, and he realized he wouldn't have cried if she had died.  In truth, they were complete strangers not worth caring about.  Also, through this lack of conscience because of the no rules policy, people are left to take horrible actions while "having fun."  For example, while Montag and other firemen filled up on glee from burning the books of a house, they burned and killed a women.  Beatty, another fireman's excuse was that she was crazy for having all those books and she would have committed suicide anyways.  Overall, I think there is a fine line between having fun and being happy.

In conclusion, although being happy and having fun can often go together, sometimes it's the opposite.  When people say that they wish there were no rules, I think that they should reconsider that.  If having fun is taken too far, it can often lead to supporting chaos and no rules.  And that, as exemplified by people in Montag's life, can lead to a very unhappy life where people die and get hurt.  A place where no one cares for each other.  This book has also made me think about the importance of having a stable set of rules, so that the world isn't chaotic and so dangerous.

Even Better Than Dreaming

The obnoxious alarm starts a new day

Behind closed eyelids I let out a groan

The beeps and buzzes take my dreams away

As if those fantasies were just a loan

Dancing ponies flee my unconscious mind

So does investigating a dark crime

I wish that this clock were not so unkind

It is like a tangy and bitter lime

But though this alarm clock takes dreams from me

Without it I would not feel the Sun’s rays

It awakens me to reality

Even better than sleep are happy days

I smile at knowing that this is true

Because when I’m awake I can love you

Starting Anew

     Doesn't everyone think about what they would be like if they could just change a few things in their past?  Who would you be if you were able to have a fresh start, in a place where nobody knew you?  In the book, Two Truths and a Lie, by Sara Shepard, that is one thing that the main character Emma gets to experience.  In her life, she's under a death threat she can't let anyone know about, and has to live the life of her dead twin sister.  However, her friend Ethan was able to take her to a place where no one knew her and she could be whoever she wanted to be.  Although that only lasted for a few hours, it really got me thinking about who people would be if they were able to "reinvent" themselves.

     When Emma was at the concert for the No Names, she was able to be anyone she wanted, and choose to do actions that no one would know if they were out of the ordinary for her.  This made me think that this is one reason why people run away, although I'm not for that at all.  It lets me understand how starting anew could be beneficial.  For example, you wouldn't be under the pressure of others because they wouldn't know that you're "not that kind of person."  Maybe the reason people keep doing things is because they feel pressured that that is who they are supposed to be.  However, if given the chance to start over in a new place, they would never do such things.  Overall, I think that starting anew is a great way to find out who you really are.  People can start anew when they get new jobs, meet new people, go to different schools, etc.  I think that when this happens, people should think about who they want to be, and not who they were.  That way, maybe people would be happier with who they are, without the weight of the past on their shoulders.

Ignorance

          Ignorance, or the lack of knowledge about a subject, can be associated with many things.  People may call you ignorant if you don’t know about the history of your own country, or not knowing about the holidays that other cultures celebrate.  They may call you ignorant for never going out of your neighborhood and exploring places, or not knowing what crisis is currently happening in the world such as an earthquake in Haiti or Japan.  There are many forms of ignorance that are talked about, written about, sung about, etc.  Although Martin Espada’s poems speak of many themes, I believe that his poems, The New Bathroom Policy at English High School, Revolutionary Spanish Lesson, and Two Mexicanos Lynched in Santa Cruz, California, May 3, 1877 mainly circle around the theme of ignorance.  I think this because in each poem, there is a victim or some victims that are targeted by people who just don’t seem to care about their culture or other parts of their lives.

            In Espada’s poem The New Bathroom Policy at English High School, the group targeted is Spanish students.  The poem describes that a group of boys were talking in Spanish in the school bathroom.  As the principal listens in, “The only word he recognizes/is his own name.”  After that, the principal of the school banned speaking Spanish in the bathrooms.  I think he did this because he was worried that they were talking poorly of him, just because he heard his name. Since the poem never mentions that the principal asked the boys what they were talking about, I feel that the principal was being ignorant and made no effort to solve the problem differently because he didn’t care to know what they were talking about.  Or maybe if the principal had cared to learn the language that some children spoke in his school, he wouldn’t have banned it. Maybe he also would have been able to know if the boys were talking about what a wonderful school it was and how they really admired the principal or the other way around.  However, because he was ignorant, the principal did expel Spanish so that, “Now he can relax,” as the poem says in the last line.  The principal was also being ignorant because it seemed as though he didn’t care how the Spanish children would be affected by this decision and the poem does not describe him asking them at all.  Although the boys’ opinions were not written in the poem, I can only imagine what it would be like not to be able to speak their own language.  Language is part of everyone’s culture and to ban it seems very disrespectful.  The principal was ignorant not to realize how important one’s culture, or way of life can be.  Maybe before, the bathroom was a safe place to socialize and be one’s self with other people who spoke the same language, but after the language was banned, Spanish kids felt separated and unwelcome.  Because the principal was being ignorant of their culture, their feelings, and their language, the effect had a negative impact on the students.  By using this poem, Martin Espada exposed examples of ignorance.

            In the poem Revolutionary Spanish Lesson, Espada once again unearths examples of ignorance.  In this poem, the narrator speaks of how his name is often mispronounced.  The reason for this could be because others don’t care to learn how his name is pronounced, or that they know but say it incorrectly anyway.  Either way, they are being ignorant of the narrator’s culture and feelings.  For example, the narrator is obviously hurt when this happens to him because the poem says, “Whenever my name/is mispronounced/I want to…hijack a busload/of Republican tourists/from Wisconsin/force them to chant/anti-American Slogans/in Spanish…”  People who mispronounce his name should be considered ignorant because they should realize that he is angered by it.   I bet that they probably wouldn’t appreciate it if people always ignored how strongly they felt about something.  Also, different cultures and languages pronounce words and names differently, and it can be very ignorant not to know or care about that.  The narrator is most likely not just American, but maybe Spanish as well.  I interpret this because the narrator emphasizes that when they mispronounce his name, he wants to put on an outfit described as resembling that of a Spanish Revolutionary and wants the Republicans to chant “in Spanish/and wait/for the bilingual SWAT team.” Spanish and bilingual are the key words there.  And yet, the people who say his name incorrectly choose to disrespect his culture and his feelings out of ignorance that he is of a different descent and his people may say things differently. Overall, the theme of this poem is also ignorance.

            Finally, in Espada’s poem Two Mexicanos Lynched in Santa Cruz, California, May 3, 1877, he described an actual historical event where two were hung because they were Mexican.  The author stresses how the vigilantes didn’t even care because even though the event was horrible, more than anything else, they were, “all crowding into the photograph.”  This makes me think that in some way, all of them wanted to be remembered as part of this event. Because of this, they were being ignorant and rude about the affect it would have on the two lynched.  I think this because the poem describes the two men as, “trussed like cousins of the slaughterhouse/dangling in the bowed mute humility/of the condemned.” I think this quote means that the men will forever be humiliated.  The vigilantes involved also were ignorant of their culture because they didn’t seem to care about how the men will become, “Guitar-plucking skeletons/…on the Dia de los Muertos.”   Because they all crowded into the photograph shows that they had no respect for the culture, affects, or family of the two men hung.  Maybe if they had cared to know about those things, they would have had more of a conscience over whether it was such a just thing to do.  The main idea in this poem is ignorance, which is expressed through the vigilantes in the photograph.

            In conclusion, the poems The New Bathroom Policy at English High School, Revolutionary Spanish Lesson and Two Mexicanos Lynched in Santa Cruz, California, May 3, 1877 clearly show the affects of ignorance by using ignorance as the main theme.  These poems demonstrate ignorance of personal feelings, culture, language, the affects on the victim and their families, etc.  I think that Martin Espada wants to let us know that this type of ignorance does occur and that we should be wary of if we ever do it or see others disrespecting people through it.  Maybe he is also telling us to open their minds to the idea of how being ignorant, even in small ways can make someone feel bad or how it can be disrespectful and harmful.  I hope that more people will want to know about other cultures or things going on outside of their life and try to prevent this type of social injustice.

The Gray Area

     Most people want their food not too hot and not too cold.  In class we discussed whether we'd want people to never acknowledge that correct pronunciation of our names or to know the correct way, but not to say it.  And in my book, Two Truths and a Lie by Sara Shepard, the main character Emma doesn't know if she'd rather have a family who is always pestering her about her whereabouts, or a family that doesn't care at all.  These things make me think about how maybe a perfect life lies in what some refer to as the "gray area."

     I think about this because of the many needs that people all around the world have.  For example, those who have overprotective parents may wish for them to be more carefree, while those with unsupportive, uncaring families may wish for overprotective parents.  These types of things make me envision a ball bouncing back and forth between the two sides.  But maybe, the person who lives their life in the gray area where the parents are lenient but still care a lot about their child will wish for nothing more from their family.  This gray area in the middle just seems like a safe haven for life.  There is nothing too much or too little.  Another example of this is in my book, is how the main character Emma first lived in the life of poverty and foster care.  Back then, all she wished for was money and a family.  But now that she has that, she seems to be overwhelmed with trying to deal with the stuck up rich friends of hers and the family that loves her, but often points out her flaws.  In conclusion, I have realized a pattern with having too much or too little.  I think that everyone, including those who appear to have everything, can find something wrong with what they have.  That is why, I think that the gray area, or the place in between having too much or too little would most likely be the area where complaint is at its minimum.  It's a place where the person doesn't really have everything, and yet, they do. 

Tiger Moms

     It has come to my attention that many people are interested about tiger moms.  In the book I am reading, Bitter Melon, by Cara Chow, the main character faces a tiger mom.  Tiger moms are usually referred to as chinese parents that push their children to get the best grades, by limiting social interaction, having long nights of studying, and obeying the parents.  They can be very hard to satisfy and many people today who had to experience this are now in therapy.  It's hard to just tell you about it, but Frances, the main character of my book gives great examples of the kind of lifestyle.
      For example, when Frances  was younger, her mother had her wear a jade bracelet, which brings health, according to the Chinese religion.  Because the bracelet dug into her skin when she wrote, and clanged into things, Frances had changed her writing hand.  But when her mother caught her, she told Frances that she'd have to eat the bracelet unless she used her regular hand.  In the book, Frances had said, "I had a difficult time that year, unable to reach things with my left hand, and unable to make noise with my right."  As said in my previous post, Frances' tiger mom wants her to go to UC Berkeley to become a medical doctor and buy a house they can live in together.  Although this is not what Frances wants at all, she knows her mother will possibly beat her if she does not work as hard as she can in school so that she can get into the college.  Another example was that even though Frances won in her speech competition, her mother beat her with her own trophy because she didn't take the calculus class instead.  And when Derek wanted to ask Frances to the dance, her mother picked up the phone and said Frances didn't live there.  Later, she told Frances she was ugly, and that's why no boy would ever want to be with her.  These are just a few examples of life with a tiger mom.  The results can be hard to bear.  For example,  Frances didn't understand the concept of unconditional love because her mother never loved her just for who she was.
     In conclusion, tiger moms can be very hard to satisfy and often limit any social interactions.  In Frances' case, her mom insulted her and made her feel bad about herself so that she would give up on things like boys.  Though some may ask, "Why doesn't Frances just stand up against her mom?" the truth is that it would be very insulting to the parents.  In Chinese culture, the parents are always right and to say that they are wrong, they "lose face" and their high position in the family.  However, I believe that standing up or getting help from others is the only way to stop such a hard way of life.  I hope that one day, this way of living will not be as popular.  It can cause both anger in the parents and children, and leave them scarred.  This book has really touched my heart and has had me get a much better understanding of the ways of some Chinese families.  When I see people making fun of asians because of the stereotypes that they are unsocial and too smart, I want to remind them that there may be a reason for that, such as have tiger moms.  I hope that other who read this book, will open their minds to social justice and treating everyone the way they should be.

Be Your Own Person

     "In serving you father and mother, remonstrate with them gently.  On seeing that they do not heed your suggestions, remain respectful and do not act contrary.  Although concerned, voice no resentment."  This is just one rule Frances, from the book Bitter Melon, by Cara Chow has to follow.  Like many other things in her life, it demonstrates that others must control her life, and that she must bend her wants to the wants of others.  Throughout the book, I have realized the importance of doing things just for yourself.  This does not mean I believe in being selfish, but I think that we shouldn't always do things for others because it can end up hurting us.

     The reason I think this is because of how others have impacted Frances' life by making her do just that. For example, although she doesn't really want to become a doctor, she is working herself to get into UC Berkeley to take up medical practice.  The only reason for this is that her mother wants her to become a doctor, fix her stomach, and her mom wants to live with Frances in a nice house.  Frances' whole life is planned out by her tiger mom, and is afraid to do anything she actually wants to do because it would displease her mother.  Another example that affects Frances slightly less, was when her teacher told her to join the speech team.  Although she didn't want to, she didn't want to upset her teacher by declining.  And when her teacher asked her if she could practice after school that day, she didn't want to say no, even though she had her expensive Princeton Review class.  "Ms. Taylor is already going out of her way for me.  How can I inconvenience her any further?"  Frances had thought.  These things have all affected her negatively.

     Overall, by only doing what others wish of her, Frances has made her own life worse for herself.  She has to miss her class and take a job she doesn't want, and go to a college that she doesn't actually care if she gets into or not.  Although, her mom may beat her for doing so, I hope that later in the book, Frances will stand up for herself.  Why should everyone be happy but not her?  This is why I now realize how just doing some things for yourself is sort of mandatory for your own health and happiness.  You shouldn't always be miserable to just please others.

Some Family is Better Than No Family

     As I continue to finish the book What Happened to Goodbye, by Sarah Dessen, a few lines really stuck out to me.  The lines were, "It made me think of my mother, suddenly, and I wished she could see me here, in a real home, with a family, just like she wanted.  Maybe it wasn't ours.  But it was still good."  This lines were really prominent in my reading because they made me think about the benefits and importance of family.  They make me realize that family consists of people not only there for you, but help you to become who you are.

     In think this because it was only when the main character Mclean started to settle down and make family-equivalent friends, that she began being the real Mclean.  For example, when her mother left her father for another man, and Mclean and her dad moved to different towns, she had a broken family.  Her mother and her always fought and her dad rarely had time for her.  I think this was the reason she decided that she was going to create a new personality for herself every time she moved.  There was no one to help shape her into becoming who she really was.  She was just able to pick and choose her lifestyle, and didn't really know what she wanted in life.  This included what type of guy she was into, what friends she actually wanted to make, etc.  However, when she just recently moved and began making family-like friends, her real self came out.  She ended up being Mclean (her real name) and she began knowing exactly what she wanted.  For example, when Opal asked her what color she wanted to paint the restaurant with, Mclean knew exactly.  She pointed to the one on the right and said, "This one.  It's perfect."  In the book, Mclean also said, "These days though, I was sure of one thing: I knew what I liked."

     Overall, I believe that although many people might not see it, families (including best friends) not only support you, but allow and help you be who you really are.  I think that in small ways, they help family member realize something within themselves.  They can help a person find who they really are.  I think that the fact that a family can be something steady and reassuring, is enough to let someone open up and be themselves.  In other books I read where the main character has a broken home or is an orphan, they often say that they prefer to be alone.  But now I think maybe that's just something they deluded themselves with because they don't have reassuring figures like a family to help them realize what they really want in life.

Real or Fake?

     In the book What Happened to Goodbye, by Sarah Dessen, Mclean has always been a girl who says she likes change.  After her parents got divorced and she went to live with her dad and ended up moving four times in two years!  And each time, she would create a new nickname and personality for herself.  It was only when she just recently moved and wasn't able to make a nickname that she realized she had to start living her life as herself, but found it to be very difficult.  This makes me think about being real or fake and how it affects your life.

     As I said, Mclean had always changed who she was when she moved to a new place.  For example, last time, she named herself Beth and decided to be that kind of person that everyone knew.  She joined every club, became friends with the popular cheerleaders and jocks, and appeared in almost every page of the yearbook.  She said that by changing herself, there was no confusion in her life and it was just easier for her to create a life for herself.  But in this new place she moved to, she didn't get a chance to figure out who she was going to be and found it very difficult.  For example, she didn't know who she'd be friends with, such as the jocks or the geeks.  Instead, friends found her by inviting her to sit with her or being the boy next door.  She also met Dave who introduced her to being herself and taking all of her life's problems in (such as how her mother divorced her dad to marry one of her idols) instead of creating a fresh start as if the past had never happened.  Mclean faced a lot of confusion from her feelings about Dave to telling her mother how she really felt.  And in the end, she realized it was okay, as she put it, "to have the world moving beneath me, a hand gripping mine, knowing if I fell, at least I wouldn't do it alone."  Overall, this makes me think that although it was harder for Mclean to live a "real" life, that doing so is better than putting on a fake smile and saying words you might never have wanted to say.  This is because life is supposed to be hard.  And sometimes, the best part of it is letting the world take its course and finding yourself.  Although being fake might be easier, as exemplified by Mclean, it may make you feel alone because no one knows the real you.  Just be yourself and if you fall, at least you might not do it alone.

Appreciation

     Never Have I ever, is the second book of the Lying Game series by Sara Shepard.  In it, Emma has been secretly used to replace her murdered sister Sutton.  Emma, coming from being an orphan who was jostled from one foster family to another to Sutton's rich, loving family, was shocked when she learned how little Sutton liked her life.  In Emma eyes, Sutton had everything, including an adoring sister and friends.  However, Sutton hated her family and was always ill-mannered towards people.  In the text Emma had said that she couldn't believe Sutton hadn't appreciated everything that she'd had.  However, Sutton who watches Emma like a guardian angel, brought up the point that she couldn't appreciate it until she died and lost everything.  This makes me think about why people are able to appreciate things.

     This book makes me consider that in order to appreciate things, you must first learn that not everyone has them.  For example, in the book, Sutton had money and a loving family.  However she didn't appreciate it at all until after she died and lost all of it and after she learned her long lost twin sister was suffering foster homes and moving away all the time.  Suttons friends are the same, always complaining about their lives or other people even though they have money, friends, caring family, etc.  They even prank people in horrible ways if they annoy them, instead of appreciating what they have.  Another example of learning to appreciate is when people learn to appreciate what they have because of things on the news such as the less fortunate in Africa or how many people's homes and lives were destroyed because of things like Hurricane Sandy.  Overall, I believe that appreciation often forms out of realizing what you life would be without something or suddenly gaining something.  For example, how Emma gained a family after having had only foster families who cared very little about her.  In the end, I agreed with Sutton when she said that she couldn't have appreciated everything when she was alive because she never knew what she had.