Be Your Own Person

     "In serving you father and mother, remonstrate with them gently.  On seeing that they do not heed your suggestions, remain respectful and do not act contrary.  Although concerned, voice no resentment."  This is just one rule Frances, from the book Bitter Melon, by Cara Chow has to follow.  Like many other things in her life, it demonstrates that others must control her life, and that she must bend her wants to the wants of others.  Throughout the book, I have realized the importance of doing things just for yourself.  This does not mean I believe in being selfish, but I think that we shouldn't always do things for others because it can end up hurting us.

     The reason I think this is because of how others have impacted Frances' life by making her do just that. For example, although she doesn't really want to become a doctor, she is working herself to get into UC Berkeley to take up medical practice.  The only reason for this is that her mother wants her to become a doctor, fix her stomach, and her mom wants to live with Frances in a nice house.  Frances' whole life is planned out by her tiger mom, and is afraid to do anything she actually wants to do because it would displease her mother.  Another example that affects Frances slightly less, was when her teacher told her to join the speech team.  Although she didn't want to, she didn't want to upset her teacher by declining.  And when her teacher asked her if she could practice after school that day, she didn't want to say no, even though she had her expensive Princeton Review class.  "Ms. Taylor is already going out of her way for me.  How can I inconvenience her any further?"  Frances had thought.  These things have all affected her negatively.

     Overall, by only doing what others wish of her, Frances has made her own life worse for herself.  She has to miss her class and take a job she doesn't want, and go to a college that she doesn't actually care if she gets into or not.  Although, her mom may beat her for doing so, I hope that later in the book, Frances will stand up for herself.  Why should everyone be happy but not her?  This is why I now realize how just doing some things for yourself is sort of mandatory for your own health and happiness.  You shouldn't always be miserable to just please others.