The Gray Area

     Most people want their food not too hot and not too cold.  In class we discussed whether we'd want people to never acknowledge that correct pronunciation of our names or to know the correct way, but not to say it.  And in my book, Two Truths and a Lie by Sara Shepard, the main character Emma doesn't know if she'd rather have a family who is always pestering her about her whereabouts, or a family that doesn't care at all.  These things make me think about how maybe a perfect life lies in what some refer to as the "gray area."

     I think about this because of the many needs that people all around the world have.  For example, those who have overprotective parents may wish for them to be more carefree, while those with unsupportive, uncaring families may wish for overprotective parents.  These types of things make me envision a ball bouncing back and forth between the two sides.  But maybe, the person who lives their life in the gray area where the parents are lenient but still care a lot about their child will wish for nothing more from their family.  This gray area in the middle just seems like a safe haven for life.  There is nothing too much or too little.  Another example of this is in my book, is how the main character Emma first lived in the life of poverty and foster care.  Back then, all she wished for was money and a family.  But now that she has that, she seems to be overwhelmed with trying to deal with the stuck up rich friends of hers and the family that loves her, but often points out her flaws.  In conclusion, I have realized a pattern with having too much or too little.  I think that everyone, including those who appear to have everything, can find something wrong with what they have.  That is why, I think that the gray area, or the place in between having too much or too little would most likely be the area where complaint is at its minimum.  It's a place where the person doesn't really have everything, and yet, they do. 

Tiger Moms

     It has come to my attention that many people are interested about tiger moms.  In the book I am reading, Bitter Melon, by Cara Chow, the main character faces a tiger mom.  Tiger moms are usually referred to as chinese parents that push their children to get the best grades, by limiting social interaction, having long nights of studying, and obeying the parents.  They can be very hard to satisfy and many people today who had to experience this are now in therapy.  It's hard to just tell you about it, but Frances, the main character of my book gives great examples of the kind of lifestyle.
      For example, when Frances  was younger, her mother had her wear a jade bracelet, which brings health, according to the Chinese religion.  Because the bracelet dug into her skin when she wrote, and clanged into things, Frances had changed her writing hand.  But when her mother caught her, she told Frances that she'd have to eat the bracelet unless she used her regular hand.  In the book, Frances had said, "I had a difficult time that year, unable to reach things with my left hand, and unable to make noise with my right."  As said in my previous post, Frances' tiger mom wants her to go to UC Berkeley to become a medical doctor and buy a house they can live in together.  Although this is not what Frances wants at all, she knows her mother will possibly beat her if she does not work as hard as she can in school so that she can get into the college.  Another example was that even though Frances won in her speech competition, her mother beat her with her own trophy because she didn't take the calculus class instead.  And when Derek wanted to ask Frances to the dance, her mother picked up the phone and said Frances didn't live there.  Later, she told Frances she was ugly, and that's why no boy would ever want to be with her.  These are just a few examples of life with a tiger mom.  The results can be hard to bear.  For example,  Frances didn't understand the concept of unconditional love because her mother never loved her just for who she was.
     In conclusion, tiger moms can be very hard to satisfy and often limit any social interactions.  In Frances' case, her mom insulted her and made her feel bad about herself so that she would give up on things like boys.  Though some may ask, "Why doesn't Frances just stand up against her mom?" the truth is that it would be very insulting to the parents.  In Chinese culture, the parents are always right and to say that they are wrong, they "lose face" and their high position in the family.  However, I believe that standing up or getting help from others is the only way to stop such a hard way of life.  I hope that one day, this way of living will not be as popular.  It can cause both anger in the parents and children, and leave them scarred.  This book has really touched my heart and has had me get a much better understanding of the ways of some Chinese families.  When I see people making fun of asians because of the stereotypes that they are unsocial and too smart, I want to remind them that there may be a reason for that, such as have tiger moms.  I hope that other who read this book, will open their minds to social justice and treating everyone the way they should be.

Some Family is Better Than No Family

     As I continue to finish the book What Happened to Goodbye, by Sarah Dessen, a few lines really stuck out to me.  The lines were, "It made me think of my mother, suddenly, and I wished she could see me here, in a real home, with a family, just like she wanted.  Maybe it wasn't ours.  But it was still good."  This lines were really prominent in my reading because they made me think about the benefits and importance of family.  They make me realize that family consists of people not only there for you, but help you to become who you are.

     In think this because it was only when the main character Mclean started to settle down and make family-equivalent friends, that she began being the real Mclean.  For example, when her mother left her father for another man, and Mclean and her dad moved to different towns, she had a broken family.  Her mother and her always fought and her dad rarely had time for her.  I think this was the reason she decided that she was going to create a new personality for herself every time she moved.  There was no one to help shape her into becoming who she really was.  She was just able to pick and choose her lifestyle, and didn't really know what she wanted in life.  This included what type of guy she was into, what friends she actually wanted to make, etc.  However, when she just recently moved and began making family-like friends, her real self came out.  She ended up being Mclean (her real name) and she began knowing exactly what she wanted.  For example, when Opal asked her what color she wanted to paint the restaurant with, Mclean knew exactly.  She pointed to the one on the right and said, "This one.  It's perfect."  In the book, Mclean also said, "These days though, I was sure of one thing: I knew what I liked."

     Overall, I believe that although many people might not see it, families (including best friends) not only support you, but allow and help you be who you really are.  I think that in small ways, they help family member realize something within themselves.  They can help a person find who they really are.  I think that the fact that a family can be something steady and reassuring, is enough to let someone open up and be themselves.  In other books I read where the main character has a broken home or is an orphan, they often say that they prefer to be alone.  But now I think maybe that's just something they deluded themselves with because they don't have reassuring figures like a family to help them realize what they really want in life.