"In serving you father and mother, remonstrate with them gently. On seeing that they do not heed your suggestions, remain respectful and do not act contrary. Although concerned, voice no resentment." This is just one rule Frances, from the book Bitter Melon, by Cara Chow has to follow. Like many other things in her life, it demonstrates that others must control her life, and that she must bend her wants to the wants of others. Throughout the book, I have realized the importance of doing things just for yourself. This does not mean I believe in being selfish, but I think that we shouldn't always do things for others because it can end up hurting us.
The reason I think this is because of how others have impacted Frances' life by making her do just that. For example, although she doesn't really want to become a doctor, she is working herself to get into UC Berkeley to take up medical practice. The only reason for this is that her mother wants her to become a doctor, fix her stomach, and her mom wants to live with Frances in a nice house. Frances' whole life is planned out by her tiger mom, and is afraid to do anything she actually wants to do because it would displease her mother. Another example that affects Frances slightly less, was when her teacher told her to join the speech team. Although she didn't want to, she didn't want to upset her teacher by declining. And when her teacher asked her if she could practice after school that day, she didn't want to say no, even though she had her expensive Princeton Review class. "Ms. Taylor is already going out of her way for me. How can I inconvenience her any further?" Frances had thought. These things have all affected her negatively.
Overall, by only doing what others wish of her, Frances has made her own life worse for herself. She has to miss her class and take a job she doesn't want, and go to a college that she doesn't actually care if she gets into or not. Although, her mom may beat her for doing so, I hope that later in the book, Frances will stand up for herself. Why should everyone be happy but not her? This is why I now realize how just doing some things for yourself is sort of mandatory for your own health and happiness. You shouldn't always be miserable to just please others.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Some Family is Better Than No Family
As I continue to finish the book What Happened to Goodbye, by Sarah Dessen, a few lines really stuck out to me. The lines were, "It made me think of my mother, suddenly, and I wished she could see me here, in a real home, with a family, just like she wanted. Maybe it wasn't ours. But it was still good." This lines were really prominent in my reading because they made me think about the benefits and importance of family. They make me realize that family consists of people not only there for you, but help you to become who you are.
In think this because it was only when the main character Mclean started to settle down and make family-equivalent friends, that she began being the real Mclean. For example, when her mother left her father for another man, and Mclean and her dad moved to different towns, she had a broken family. Her mother and her always fought and her dad rarely had time for her. I think this was the reason she decided that she was going to create a new personality for herself every time she moved. There was no one to help shape her into becoming who she really was. She was just able to pick and choose her lifestyle, and didn't really know what she wanted in life. This included what type of guy she was into, what friends she actually wanted to make, etc. However, when she just recently moved and began making family-like friends, her real self came out. She ended up being Mclean (her real name) and she began knowing exactly what she wanted. For example, when Opal asked her what color she wanted to paint the restaurant with, Mclean knew exactly. She pointed to the one on the right and said, "This one. It's perfect." In the book, Mclean also said, "These days though, I was sure of one thing: I knew what I liked."
Overall, I believe that although many people might not see it, families (including best friends) not only support you, but allow and help you be who you really are. I think that in small ways, they help family member realize something within themselves. They can help a person find who they really are. I think that the fact that a family can be something steady and reassuring, is enough to let someone open up and be themselves. In other books I read where the main character has a broken home or is an orphan, they often say that they prefer to be alone. But now I think maybe that's just something they deluded themselves with because they don't have reassuring figures like a family to help them realize what they really want in life.
In think this because it was only when the main character Mclean started to settle down and make family-equivalent friends, that she began being the real Mclean. For example, when her mother left her father for another man, and Mclean and her dad moved to different towns, she had a broken family. Her mother and her always fought and her dad rarely had time for her. I think this was the reason she decided that she was going to create a new personality for herself every time she moved. There was no one to help shape her into becoming who she really was. She was just able to pick and choose her lifestyle, and didn't really know what she wanted in life. This included what type of guy she was into, what friends she actually wanted to make, etc. However, when she just recently moved and began making family-like friends, her real self came out. She ended up being Mclean (her real name) and she began knowing exactly what she wanted. For example, when Opal asked her what color she wanted to paint the restaurant with, Mclean knew exactly. She pointed to the one on the right and said, "This one. It's perfect." In the book, Mclean also said, "These days though, I was sure of one thing: I knew what I liked."
Overall, I believe that although many people might not see it, families (including best friends) not only support you, but allow and help you be who you really are. I think that in small ways, they help family member realize something within themselves. They can help a person find who they really are. I think that the fact that a family can be something steady and reassuring, is enough to let someone open up and be themselves. In other books I read where the main character has a broken home or is an orphan, they often say that they prefer to be alone. But now I think maybe that's just something they deluded themselves with because they don't have reassuring figures like a family to help them realize what they really want in life.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Real or Fake?
In the book What Happened to Goodbye, by Sarah Dessen, Mclean has always been a girl who says she likes change. After her parents got divorced and she went to live with her dad and ended up moving four times in two years! And each time, she would create a new nickname and personality for herself. It was only when she just recently moved and wasn't able to make a nickname that she realized she had to start living her life as herself, but found it to be very difficult. This makes me think about being real or fake and how it affects your life.
As I said, Mclean had always changed who she was when she moved to a new place. For example, last time, she named herself Beth and decided to be that kind of person that everyone knew. She joined every club, became friends with the popular cheerleaders and jocks, and appeared in almost every page of the yearbook. She said that by changing herself, there was no confusion in her life and it was just easier for her to create a life for herself. But in this new place she moved to, she didn't get a chance to figure out who she was going to be and found it very difficult. For example, she didn't know who she'd be friends with, such as the jocks or the geeks. Instead, friends found her by inviting her to sit with her or being the boy next door. She also met Dave who introduced her to being herself and taking all of her life's problems in (such as how her mother divorced her dad to marry one of her idols) instead of creating a fresh start as if the past had never happened. Mclean faced a lot of confusion from her feelings about Dave to telling her mother how she really felt. And in the end, she realized it was okay, as she put it, "to have the world moving beneath me, a hand gripping mine, knowing if I fell, at least I wouldn't do it alone." Overall, this makes me think that although it was harder for Mclean to live a "real" life, that doing so is better than putting on a fake smile and saying words you might never have wanted to say. This is because life is supposed to be hard. And sometimes, the best part of it is letting the world take its course and finding yourself. Although being fake might be easier, as exemplified by Mclean, it may make you feel alone because no one knows the real you. Just be yourself and if you fall, at least you might not do it alone.
As I said, Mclean had always changed who she was when she moved to a new place. For example, last time, she named herself Beth and decided to be that kind of person that everyone knew. She joined every club, became friends with the popular cheerleaders and jocks, and appeared in almost every page of the yearbook. She said that by changing herself, there was no confusion in her life and it was just easier for her to create a life for herself. But in this new place she moved to, she didn't get a chance to figure out who she was going to be and found it very difficult. For example, she didn't know who she'd be friends with, such as the jocks or the geeks. Instead, friends found her by inviting her to sit with her or being the boy next door. She also met Dave who introduced her to being herself and taking all of her life's problems in (such as how her mother divorced her dad to marry one of her idols) instead of creating a fresh start as if the past had never happened. Mclean faced a lot of confusion from her feelings about Dave to telling her mother how she really felt. And in the end, she realized it was okay, as she put it, "to have the world moving beneath me, a hand gripping mine, knowing if I fell, at least I wouldn't do it alone." Overall, this makes me think that although it was harder for Mclean to live a "real" life, that doing so is better than putting on a fake smile and saying words you might never have wanted to say. This is because life is supposed to be hard. And sometimes, the best part of it is letting the world take its course and finding yourself. Although being fake might be easier, as exemplified by Mclean, it may make you feel alone because no one knows the real you. Just be yourself and if you fall, at least you might not do it alone.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Appreciation
Never Have I ever, is the second book of the Lying Game series by Sara Shepard. In it, Emma has been secretly used to replace her murdered sister Sutton. Emma, coming from being an orphan who was jostled from one foster family to another to Sutton's rich, loving family, was shocked when she learned how little Sutton liked her life. In Emma eyes, Sutton had everything, including an adoring sister and friends. However, Sutton hated her family and was always ill-mannered towards people. In the text Emma had said that she couldn't believe Sutton hadn't appreciated everything that she'd had. However, Sutton who watches Emma like a guardian angel, brought up the point that she couldn't appreciate it until she died and lost everything. This makes me think about why people are able to appreciate things.
This book makes me consider that in order to appreciate things, you must first learn that not everyone has them. For example, in the book, Sutton had money and a loving family. However she didn't appreciate it at all until after she died and lost all of it and after she learned her long lost twin sister was suffering foster homes and moving away all the time. Suttons friends are the same, always complaining about their lives or other people even though they have money, friends, caring family, etc. They even prank people in horrible ways if they annoy them, instead of appreciating what they have. Another example of learning to appreciate is when people learn to appreciate what they have because of things on the news such as the less fortunate in Africa or how many people's homes and lives were destroyed because of things like Hurricane Sandy. Overall, I believe that appreciation often forms out of realizing what you life would be without something or suddenly gaining something. For example, how Emma gained a family after having had only foster families who cared very little about her. In the end, I agreed with Sutton when she said that she couldn't have appreciated everything when she was alive because she never knew what she had.
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