Parental Figures

Amir is an Afghanistani boy from the book, Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.  Throughout his teen years he is faced with war, bullies, school and more.  But one thing that really caught my attention in the book is the relationship between him and his dad who he calls Baba.  This is because even though Amir longs for the fatherly figure his friend Hassan has, he is also extremely proud of Baba and is often jealous of the attention he gives to others.  This makes think that Amir craves his father's love and often denies the absence of it.

For example, in the book Amir thought that, "In some ways all father's want to kill their sons."  This is based off of Amir's personal experience because Baba was disappointed by him because he killed his mother during birth.  And also, when Baba realized Amir was not athletic as he was when he was a young boy, Amir overheard him saying, "If I hadn't seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I'd never believe he was my own son."  Another way Baba didn't provide a strong parental figure was after Amir had written his first novel and Baba just stared blankly at him and said, "That's good."  It was his friend Rahim that actually wanted to read the story.  Overall, it has come to my attention that Baba is not always the best parent.

Amir also becomes jealous at the attention Baba gives to others.  For example, he said that sometimes he wished Baba hadn't opened the orphanage because those kids got more of Baba's attention than him.    Also, when Baba put his arm around Amir and gave him expensive presents Amir said to himself that he didn't care, which implied that he actually did.

However, despite these things, Amir strongly admire his father and cherishes every nice action given to him.  For example, when Baba told him to hold his hat while he gave his speech at the orphanage he was opening, Amir was thrilled because everyone would know that Baba was his father.  Also, when he got to sit on Baba's lap, Amir scolded himself for annoying Baba by asking questions because he ruined the rare occasion that they were alone and talking.

In conclusion, I believe that Baba does not always offer Amir the love and care he craves.  However, despite this, Amir strongly admires his father and become jealous when others are given the attention he lacks.  This makes me think about how important parental care can be to a child.  Without it, it can lead to the kid thinking that all fathers wanted to kill their sons in some way, as Amir did.  I think the book paints an accurate picture about how many crave and cherish things that they may lack.  I think that these kinds of things occur in other scenarios such as the want of friendship, etc.  But overall, I think that Amir secretly desires Baba's approval though it is not always given.

Tiger Moms

     It has come to my attention that many people are interested about tiger moms.  In the book I am reading, Bitter Melon, by Cara Chow, the main character faces a tiger mom.  Tiger moms are usually referred to as chinese parents that push their children to get the best grades, by limiting social interaction, having long nights of studying, and obeying the parents.  They can be very hard to satisfy and many people today who had to experience this are now in therapy.  It's hard to just tell you about it, but Frances, the main character of my book gives great examples of the kind of lifestyle.
      For example, when Frances  was younger, her mother had her wear a jade bracelet, which brings health, according to the Chinese religion.  Because the bracelet dug into her skin when she wrote, and clanged into things, Frances had changed her writing hand.  But when her mother caught her, she told Frances that she'd have to eat the bracelet unless she used her regular hand.  In the book, Frances had said, "I had a difficult time that year, unable to reach things with my left hand, and unable to make noise with my right."  As said in my previous post, Frances' tiger mom wants her to go to UC Berkeley to become a medical doctor and buy a house they can live in together.  Although this is not what Frances wants at all, she knows her mother will possibly beat her if she does not work as hard as she can in school so that she can get into the college.  Another example was that even though Frances won in her speech competition, her mother beat her with her own trophy because she didn't take the calculus class instead.  And when Derek wanted to ask Frances to the dance, her mother picked up the phone and said Frances didn't live there.  Later, she told Frances she was ugly, and that's why no boy would ever want to be with her.  These are just a few examples of life with a tiger mom.  The results can be hard to bear.  For example,  Frances didn't understand the concept of unconditional love because her mother never loved her just for who she was.
     In conclusion, tiger moms can be very hard to satisfy and often limit any social interactions.  In Frances' case, her mom insulted her and made her feel bad about herself so that she would give up on things like boys.  Though some may ask, "Why doesn't Frances just stand up against her mom?" the truth is that it would be very insulting to the parents.  In Chinese culture, the parents are always right and to say that they are wrong, they "lose face" and their high position in the family.  However, I believe that standing up or getting help from others is the only way to stop such a hard way of life.  I hope that one day, this way of living will not be as popular.  It can cause both anger in the parents and children, and leave them scarred.  This book has really touched my heart and has had me get a much better understanding of the ways of some Chinese families.  When I see people making fun of asians because of the stereotypes that they are unsocial and too smart, I want to remind them that there may be a reason for that, such as have tiger moms.  I hope that other who read this book, will open their minds to social justice and treating everyone the way they should be.